If you have
been married for more than a week, I’m
certain you’re aware that your marriage is not
perfect.
No marriage relationship is.
And regardless
of how wonderful or terrible your marriage may seem right now, I’m also certain that you are aware of
ways it could be better, healthier, stronger, and more loving.
We all desire
to see positive changes in our relationships. We all want to be built up,
encouraged, and empowered to live life to the fullest.
Unfortunately,
so many marriage relationships limp along at less than life-giving; worse yet
are the relationships that actively drain the life out of one or both partners.
You may know
someone in a hurting marriage; you may even be that person.
And maybe,
fearful of what others will think of your imperfect life, you’re hiding that pain from your family
and friends.
You think to
yourself, “Suck it up,” or “Hang in there until the kids are grown,” or “Nobody’s marriage is perfect; this is just
the way life is.” You think, if you try harder, you can just make it work.
Tangible
ways Wives and Husbands can Show Acceptance to their spouses
Acknowledging
the fact that God made you and your spouse differently empowers you to honor
each other’s unique roles and characteristics.
Despite your differences, you both bear the Creator’s likeness.
In moments of
desperation, God taught me the value of acceptance in marriage.
This
essential trait of a life-giving marriage allows us to love and honor our
spouse’s God-given nature.
Every human
being is woven together by God in a unique way. You can either magnify your
spouse’s weaknesses, thereby causing strife
with your scrutiny, or you can accept who God made them to be.
It’s important to embrace
the way God has made your spouse.
It is also
helpful to accept how God has made you. Understand that the way you two work
and live and love together may not be the same as any other couple’s relationship.
Sue Speaks...(a special video for my awesome readers)
What
Rescued My Marriage?
For
Wayne and me, we need to overcome destructive patterns of relating and learn a
new way to relate.
We
learned a lot from the following study:
“For more than thirty-five years, Dr.
John Gottman and his team have studied marriages. As a research scientist, he
uses rigorous methods and standards respected by medical science. The data he’s gathered gives a scientific glimpse
into the anatomy of a marriage.
In
the family research laboratory, aka “the love lab,” Gottman’s team uses instruments to measure the
heart rates of couples during conflict-filled conversation. They record the discussion
and analyze the facial responses. During a ten-year study, with a ninety-one
percent accuracy rate, they were able to predict which couples would divorce.
The
couples whose marriages were not doing well often began disagreements with a
harsh tone.
Soon,
the scientists watching would observe what Dr. John Gottman labeled as “The Four Horsemen.”
Four negative styles of behavior are
lethal to a marriage and could lead to a chaotic end.
Sue has just signed a contract with Bethany
House to write a book on prayer. She is excited to see what God will do through
this life-giving message. She and her husband are also launching Life Bridge
Church on January 31, 2016 in Frisco Texas (north of Dallas). Presently they
are gathering a group of 100 innovative leaders to help us build a bridge and
connect people to purpose.
Despite your differences, you both bear the Creator’s likeness.
